What Have We Learned About New Yawk

I must say that this conversation with Tim and KK has been most informative. I have really learned a lot and I want to make sure you all share in this knowledge. Here is the recap:

1. New York is the greatest city in the world- but a raghead with an airplane, a bum with a match, or a schwoogie with button can bring it to its knees

2. New York is completely self-sufficient- people there don't need to eat because they have money. If they do get a taste for some actual food, all of their needs can be provided by Belize and Sri Lanka. They just let those trucks and trains with goods from all over the country come in as a favor

3. All money is in New York- despite the fact that the richest people in the country live in Omaha and Seatlle, there is no money there. New York bails themselves out every time they go bankrupt and all of the aid that poured in after 9-11 came *only* from NYC

4. New York is a clean, safe and friendly city- but the people who live there have to "adapt," "survive" and "kick buttes" on a daily basis. Despite their toughness, New Yorkers whine about things like the bus being late.

5. Only New Yorkers are smart- they don't need Harvard, Duke or any of those other "hillbilly" schools because they are born with all knowledge. NY-ers are SO smart they don't even have to learn to read. Ask any graduate of CUNY

6. The infrastructure of New York is based on 1890's technology but all other cities are "cow towns" with buffalo and Indians roaming the streets

7. If a wall falls in New York and nobody cares- it is still front page news for three days

8. Only NY has skyscrapers- other buildings like the Sears Tower don't count. Being smashed together on an island is preferable to having lots of space because you get taller buildings

9. New York has no homeless people- just displaced mentally ill persons who drink cheap wine, smell like pee and poo on the sidewalks

10. New York is the Great American City even though it is populated by diseased foreign criminals

11. There is no racism in New York. Jesse Jackson's remarks about "Hymie Town" and all the hundreds of incidents of people beating others to rest for being the wrong color are just "cultural misunderstandings"

12. Everything is better in New York is better because it is more expensive than anywhere else.

13. The only people who believe this horsepoo are New Yorkers

Thanks again to Tim Donohoe and KK for giving us this glimpse inside the minds of New Yawkers