Bush Declares Evacuation Victory -- Cindy Sheehan has left Crawford George W. Bush, who spent two days last week using military people as backdrops for his photo-ops in his war against weepy mothers, won the public relations battle that occupied him Tuesday and Wednesday. Cindy Sheehan surrendered to the high-priority blitz staged by the president who utilized triple the costs he had spent for saving New Orleans watering citizens on the same Tuesday and Wednesday. Soldiers and sailors stood around on Tuesday-Wedneday instead of mobilizing to help anybody other than Bush himself. So anyway, here's my inspired five point plan to wage war against this disaster: 1. Publicly restate the obvious. 2. Get my butt and a phalanx of photogs within inches of the Louisiana Stenchzone so that I can survey the brutal damage and humanity up close - but not so close that my dress shoes get scuffed. 3. Briefly struggle to empathize with the suffering of the victims, then give up, grit teeth, and find my special strong, silent "John Wayne" place. Hang loose there for a while. 4. Sell out the Federal disaster response agencies and bean counters I had four years to streamline. And by streamline, I mean "Play Three Card Monte With Billions." 5. Pray. Pray that folk will forget this teeny widdle environmental disaster toot sweet, and pray that we find more imaginary dinosaur bone sludge that we can whip into vroom juice.
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